Sunday, January 3, 2016

"I Survived"

2015 was probably one of the toughest years of my life.

Being prone to keeping everything to myself, exerting out more than i was able to handle, and giving more than i was being given ... brought me to a place of loneliness (far too many times), anxiety, uncertainty, distrust, and more. There were many times where i hated everyone, and even myself for getting into situations that i knew weren't "me" and wanted to get out. It was even worse when i realized that all i had in the end was myself, and of course God.

My last post was about me realizing that God is still faithful through it all - and He most definitely is. Most of this year was filled with a lot of distress, self-hate, and contemplating life itself. However, with the grace -- i emphasize grace, of God...i survived. He gave me the right people, and right circumstances to push myself everyday, and to get to the semi-okay place that i am today.

That semi-okay place got me a new job, and a new best friend. I never knew I could find this, so called "love" that everyone talked about and boasted about on social media. And to selfishly find it, in the time I was most undeserving... Just shows how amazing He really is. And for being by my side through my toughest, most vulnerable time, I'm forever grateful.

I'm hopeful that 2016 will be filled with the growth of my mistakes, and more positivity. I'm so certain that God will be with me, every step of the way, just like He always has. Even when i'm straying, or am doubting Him, i know that He is faithful. So in this coming year, i hope to be more faithful back.

With that, i have a few "resolutions" that i'm hopeful to fulfill this fresh, new year!

1. Lean on Him.
2. Thank Him, even when times are rough. And especially when times are great.
3. Laugh more, and think positively about every situation.
4. Use your time wisely- especially investing in the relationships with people that count.
5. Travel as much as you can.
6. Never say no to an open opportunity. Always be looking forward!
7. Tithe.
8. Be intentional (you missed that memo in 2015)
9. Don't worry about what people think.
10. Love hard.