I am Yours, and You are mine

As i was reading a woman devo/encouragement, the writer said something that just gave me so many feels:

"Yours already knows where you are and what you've been through, and it brings Him joy to care for you."

like........ .... .. . what? I literally bawled. LOL - we are HIS. He is ours. And He knows all..and wants only to care for you, guide you, and love you.

I think we forget that we're being guided in this life by Him, and that we belong solely to Him. So as the Shepherd and Sheep analogy goes...we, being the sheep, sometimes wander. We wander without even realizing sometimes! Because we get distracted by the temptations of the world we're forced to live in temporarily..and sometimes we lose our way so far in, that we don't know how to get back.

However, i'm a firm firm believer that our Shepherd, whether He is always behind us making sure we don't stumble and hurt ourselves too much..or is actually in front of us as we follow Him unconsciously...we are always in His good hands.

"My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, i will never be shaken." Psalm 62: 1-2

He's our rock, our fortress, and we will never be shaken. Okay, we might be because sin and the world sucks sometimes..but we'll never fall. We'll never let go of His hands, even if we tried. Because we BELONGGGGG to Him!!! Legit. like...i don't really know how else to explain it. But we belong to Him, and because of that, He'll never let us go, and He'll never let us wander for too long and too far. 

I think it's just always important to know that we WILL wander. We live in a world filled with temptations left and right, He knows us well enough that we will. So He understands..and will still take you with eager, open, and excited arms. We just need to know when it's time to finally say, "alright God..i'm sorry for wandering..but i'm back! But it's been a while so can you help me?"

lmao..okay maybe that's my own version, but that's how it usually goes. And i probably wander more often than i should, but thank GOD we have a gracious, loving God...eep!

anddd with that-- I trust that i am in good hands for my return home. I know that He wants me home during this season in my life, and we'll see where He takes me! And i will wander again, and might get distracted many many times...but i hope my awesome community of brothers and sisters will whoop my butt and shove me back into place! #thataccountabilitydoe

to everyone back home, i'm stoked and excited for this new chapter. i hope you all are as well..! i promise to be kind and happy happy happyyyyyy :D hehe okay hope everyone has a victorious week! it's hump day, but that just means its closer to friday than yesterday. 

#keepfightingthegoodfight

xx

"See you later"

The past 8 months have been .. nothing but ordinary.
I packed up my life into my cute lil civic, and moved 800 miles away from home, and decided to start a new one. I made amazing friends, learned and grew so much, and learned to love this lil place i began to call home.

However, as i shared with very few of you, i am moving back home..to jersey. (sad)
It was a super tough decision to make, but due to circumstances and personal things happening, i decided it was best to finally give up my stubborn act of "i'm never moving back home!!"

And I'm so blessed with awesome friends who guided me and talked me through these crazy decisions (thank you ladies) and who sat with me for hours as i ranted about my life and what my insane self is thinking. I'm blessed with the notion to know exactly when i have to make a decision and to be completely at peace with it once its made. And i'm so blessed to have God right by my side, letting me know..that everything is going to be okay.

But as i said, the past 8 months here in the beautiful (cold) chicago burbs have been unexplainable. Although i'm leaving...with things left unfinished and unsaid, and hopes of wanting to do more for people, it's been so surreal and a huge part of becoming who God wants me to be.

To everyone i met at calvary, trinity, and just people i met here and there..you guys rock. I have to admit, you all are probably the best people i've encountered in my short 21 years of living. I don't regret coming here, because i know there is no "coincidence" with God. I know i was meant to meet you, and i was meant to invest into our relationships together. I learned so much about people, myself, and the goodness of His grace through you guys..and i'm forever thankful.

Seriously, SO much love to everyone i met from Calvary..you all have been an indescribable blessing to me. Coming into a new state with no friends except knowing my brother was tough..but you guys made every sunday worth it. You guys made every week and month go by, knowing that i'll soon be able to call you guys my friends. I'll miss all the laughs, jokes, talks, advice, and good eats with each of you. It's honestly been a heck of a ride and i'll keep you guys in my prayers always~

:( i'm actually really really sad to leave. So please, if i haven't told you already, reach out to me..i just didn't want to make it a big deal! I hope that we can talk and play before i leave next week (eep)


This is definitely not goodbye, but a simple "See you later" -- until the next chapter of sarah's crazy life. i'll be back to visit, or maybe even to come back to live. we'll see what God has in store for me.
but really... thanks for making me fall in love with the chicago burbs, and giving the best hospitality. midwest people, are truly amazing.

so much love and thoughts... xx

Peace

Peace: freedom from disturbance; quiet and tranquility.

(defined from google.com)

Free from disturbance; quiet...and tranquility. That's all my heart wanted, and i finally got it.

I think sometimes, when our hearts are burdened and we feel suffocated, we need to make tough decisions. What will it take to relieve that stress and burden on our hearts? Do we already know what to do..? What will we lose? What will it take...

The past few months have been filled with life decisions i've made, and the past few years have been filled with many ups and downs. Nonetheless, i think all those decisions needed to take place in order to get me exactly where i am today. I don't regret anything i've done nor do i regret any horrible circumstance or amazing circumstance i was put in. I am a firm believer in the idea and notion that "everything happens for a reason."

Whether it was made to allow me to learn from a mistake, or to further my journey into this thing called "life," it ultimately helped me someway or another....into the "peace" i needed at this very moment. 

I also recently came across this quote, which then became my caption for my current prof pic:

"Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you or makes you happy."

And i just love that. To respect yourself..to respect your own happiness. I think that once you make that decision to walk away from something that isn't right for you, even if it means you may have failed.. theres a moment of peace...a moment you recognize where.."everything is going to be okay." -- because up until that very moment where you decided what's ultimately best for you, your heart was frantic..your head was spinning, and you really didn't know if everything was going to be okay.

But the second you crossed that line, to make that stern decision (whatever that may be) -- there was peace. That burden was lifted. that headache, gone. that surrounding noise that's been spinning around your head? silent.

And to be quite honest, i don't think all of this happens unless you love and respect yourself enough to give yourself that. To give yourself a chance to make mistakes, but also to come closer to happiness. To come closer to the life that God ultimately planned for you. Because really, there is no wrong decision in this life...we all make bad choices eventually. But thankfully, we've got a God who makes even the worst situations...all part of His grand ole' plan.

And that's the thing about p e a c e. it doesn't mean that everything is okay..but i think it's a gift God gives us. The idea that even if it's not okay, you're one step towards the happiness we're all striving for. And that momentary peace that comes before another series of chaotic events....is all the more meaningful when it comes again. 

S N A P B A C K

s n a p   b a c k

it's just one of those days, one of those weeks
where nothing seems to be quite "right."

I think we tend to get into this depressed mood or an unsatisfied state of mind where we spend too much time thinking about what "could" be and what "should" be. We dream of a different life, we fantasize about how things can be better if we could just have this, do that, or be it.

maybe we just need to stop for a second --
to breathe. in and out. in and out.
just be still in this moment of clarity -- the clarity that reminds you that you're O K.
more than okay actually. you've survived worst times, you're actually doing quite well.

so all you need to do is s n a p b a c k into the reality that we live in.
To be okay with what is going on, and to continue to strive and persevere.

And to strive and persevere in my own personal life: to keep fighting this good good fight.
the fight we were all destined to go through -- living in this world while we're not of this world.

like i've said in previous posts, it's not always easy. God never promised it'd be a cake walk -- then we'd all be happy and fat. but its a tough one --
Oh but that joy...that lies ahead is ALL we need to keep striving. even i have moments of doubt, worry, and straight up ignorance that lasts weeks and i just have no idea anymore.

But to be quite honest, there is not a day that goes by, where i don't think about what i'm truly called to do, and what i desire the most: to love God and love people. it's as simple as that.
that is what keeps me going.

so heres the belated belated promised post: to s n a p back. snapback, and keep fighting.



xx