Tuesday, March 17, 2015

The Wait

It doesn't take someone who knows me to the core, to know that i'm dying to leave home already.
I proclaim it loud and proud that i'm getting out of jersey as soon as i get the "Go." As soon as God finally tells me that my time home is finished-- that i've completed my time here (jeez, it sounds like i'm stuck in prison), i'm on a one way flight to Chicago or LA. *my heart is torn.

So as i'm currently in the wait, i literally don't know what to do sometimes....
Does anyone else feel that way?
Where you absolutely know and trust that He is Sovereign..that He'll point you toward greatness once the time comes?...but still, you just have this restless mind and impatient heart..?

What do you do then?????
I honestly don't know. I feel empty and useless..
I'm not doing anything that is helping anyone, literally just concentrating on myself during this time...and i hate it. I feel like a vegetable..just sitting on a kid's plate..being ignored.

BUT- As i acknowledged that i need only to be still during this time - to just seek after HIM... i started to get excited. Excited for the future...excited for all the amazing things He is just waiting to pour into my life. He's BEEN waiting with one hand out, just waiting for mine to reach out. With the confidence that God is by my side, i'm filled, and overwhelmed with dreams and possibilities!!!

I think that's whats amazing about being young- still growing, making mistakes, taking risks, and just trusting God to redirect you if you fail (lol). You really don't have much to lose, and you are more willing to go out of your comfort zone (especially if you're single)

And with that said, i cannot wait to finally get the "GO" and to move to a new place, to explore more of this beautiful earth God let us live in, to meet the amazing brothers and sisters i have wherever i may go, and to just sit in His grace, His goodness, His love.... EEEEP - the future is bright you guys!! just gotta believe... ;)

always do everything in His love, xx

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