Is that what happens in terms of relationships?
Once we feel an oncoming rejection...or a feel a slight chance of getting hurt...we retract.
(that may have been a bad analogy because no one likes getting physically burned..but ya feel me right?)
I personally feel myself doing this the second i sense i'm putting more effort into a relationship. The second i come to a realization that i'm the "better" friend or see that they don't put even half as much effort in as i do...I draw away from the relationship.
Granted that everyone with these steel walls has every reason to put them up (due to being hurt in the past) -- i believe in a positive future in every single one of our messed up lives.
Don't we all, as people who have gone through hell and back have a chance at this "happiness" everyone keeps talking about?
The real question is how do we get there? With the idea or self pre-caution that everyone you get too close to might be a fire that'll burn you...will you ever gain that happy state? I highly doubt it. But being challenged with the idea of a "good christian" and then learning how to keep that status quo is not always easy. I wanted to be kind to everyone, but also not get taken advantage of! However, these past few months, i realized..that wasn't the real issue i should be focusing on.
As corny and over used this phrase is, "Carpe Diem" or "YOLO" it folks. If a year from now, you'll still care about what you're worried about today..then fine. Keep letting it worry your brain away. HOWEVER! If it won't, drop it. Today is filled with 24 hours. This very hour, or maybe the next- you can start fresh and start anew.
And...with that, i'd love to encourage whoever reading this. Yes, we may at first retract at any slight chance of getting hurt. Whether it is in relationships (most of the time it is) or in anything in your life, don't be scared. Be scared of the "what if" you'll be asking yourself down the road. Don't be reckless, but don't hold yourself back. We live and we learn, and the memories you make down the road will worth it.
Do everything and anything you want to today. And do it with no regrets. But most importantly...
do everything in love.